"Just do it," a well-meaning friend told me, invoking the infamous Nike slogan. Sure. If it were that easy, wouldn't we already be the best versions of ourselves today, tomorrow, and always? Or, at the very least, our best memes?
But my friend got me thinking. What is it that's actually holding me back? Fear of rejection? Fear of making a mistake? Fear of not being good enough?
Enter Ruth Soukup, entrepreneur, host of the Do It Scared podcast, and author of Do It Scared: Finding the Courage to Face Your Fears, Overcome Adversity, and Create a Life You Love. Soukup wants you to know you're capable of whatever it is you've been dreaming about. The catch is that you'll probably have to do it while you're scared. For the book, she and her team surveyed more than 4,000 people about the times fear kept them from going after something they wanted, then brought in researchers and psychologists to sort through the answers. What came out of it were seven common "fear archetypes."
"Until I started doing this work, I didn't realize how often I hold myself back because of my fear of rejection. Or how my trust issues have affected my life and business," Soukup told Girlboss.
Soukup has come through serious setbacks of her own, including depression that nearly took her life. She says understanding the specific way fear shows up in your daily life is the first step to getting past it. Most people have one dominant archetype, and once you can name yours, the excuses start to look a lot more like patterns.
So, what are you waiting for? Here's how each of Soukup's seven fear archetypes might be holding you back, and how to charge ahead anyway.
Archetype No. 1: The Procrastinator
The Procrastinator isn't what it seems. If this is your dominant archetype, you're often so fixated on the end product being perfect that the planning and research phase never quite wraps up. That makes both starting and finishing hard.
What it feels like: "I feel so embarrassed about not achieving perfection that it prevents me from even getting started," one woman wrote in response to Soukup's research.
How to make it work for you: Procrastinators produce high-quality work and are known for their attention to detail. Soukup suggests reframing your life as a series of "lessons rather than mistakes." Deadlines help too, especially if you're bogged down by the idea that everything has to be "right." Aim to turn work in on time instead of perfect. Soukup writes that "the more 'real' you can make the deadlines, the more likely you will be to stick to them," so tell someone your date or put money on it.
And go easy on yourself when you slip. In a 2025 randomized trial published in Mindfulness, people who did a two-week online self-compassion program cut back on bedtime procrastination (yes, the one-more-episode kind), and the change held a month later. Beating yourself up keeps the cycle going. Kindness actually helps you get moving.
Archetype No. 2: The Rule Follower
The Rule Follower is just what it sounds like. You're committed to clear definitions of right and wrong, even when that comes at the expense of your own success.
What it feels like: "I am most scared about whether or not I'm making the 'right' decision. I often think that if I make the decision to go with this option, then what am I missing out on by not choosing the other option?"
How to make it work for you: Start by loosening your grip on what's "allowed," and let go of the FOMO. Soukup recommends putting your strong sense of right and wrong to work by writing down your own set of principles, ones that get to overrule outside sources. Then practice a little self-compassion. "I think we need to give ourselves a break," Lynne Everatt, co-author of The 5-Minute Recharge: 31 Proven Strategies to Refresh, Reset and Become the Boss of Your Day, told Girlboss. "If you can't be compassionate with yourself, it's really difficult to show compassion for anyone else."
Archetype No. 3: The People Pleaser
If you're a People Pleaser, your biggest fear is being judged or letting someone down. That usually shows up as trouble with boundaries and a reflexive "yes."
What it feels like: "I'm afraid of looking stupid, of having people think I'm wasting money, and of disappointing those I love or making them angry in some way."
How to make it work for you: Your considerate nature probably makes you a fantastic coworker, friend, and mentor. To balance it out, Soukup suggests finding a mentor or teacher with a different archetype, like an Outcast, who can show you how to say no and give yourself permission to put yourself first. If work is where your yeses pile up, start with one small boundary this week, like protecting your time from a meeting that could have been an email.
Archetype No. 4: The Outcast
Soukup calls herself "an Outcast through and through" and says it's a common archetype among entrepreneurs. "It has been incredibly enlightening to identify this part of myself and to start to notice how often my Outcast tendencies play a part in my life," she says. Since spotting it as a weak point, she's made a point of asking for help more intentionally.
Outcasts tend to look fearless from the outside. Underneath, they're often so afraid of rejection that they reject other people first.
What it feels like: "I've learned that I can't rely on anyone, and if I want to get something done, I have to do it myself."
How to make it work for you: You're already self-motivated and willing to take risks, so put that independence to use by chasing a long-lost passion or building a business of your own. Just remember you can't do it alone. Soukup recommends forming a "truth club," a small group of people you trust who meet regularly to give honest feedback and hold each other accountable. Showing up for it counts as asking for help, even if it doesn't feel like it.
Archetype No. 5: The Self-Doubter
If you're a Self-Doubter, your dominant fear is rooted in deep insecurity about what you're capable of. You might describe yourself as "stuck," or catch yourself judging people who take the leap as a way of covering your own fear. It often overlaps with impostor syndrome.
What it feels like: "I am afraid to realize that I am not capable of what I really want to do and that no one will take me seriously or care about what I have to offer."
How to make it work for you: You're a hard worker who's often first in and last out, happy to go above and beyond to get the job done. Soukup suggests putting that to the test by stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something new. "Action is the antidote to fear," she writes, because the only way to prove you can do something is to do it. Set small goals and track your progress in a journal, a notes app, or a blog. Over time, that record turns into evidence you can point to when you make the case for yourself. You might even surprise your toughest critic: you.
Archetype No. 6: The Excuse Maker
For the Excuse Maker, taking responsibility for your choices and goals can be the hardest part. Instead of leading, you might take a back seat and let other people make decisions for you, which also lets you off the hook.
What it feels like: "I'd like to start my own business, but it feels like someone or something always stops me. I don't have time. I don't have money. There is no one to show me what to do."
How to make it work for you: Your hesitation to lead probably makes you a great cheerleader for your friends and coworkers. Soukup's advice for getting past the excuses might seem counterintuitive: welcome a little conflict. "It's important to hear other points of view, even when you don't agree with them," she says. "Listening to the thoughts of someone who doesn't agree with you forces you to solidify your own beliefs. And fighting to make things better will get you better results."
A simple place to start is to pick one excuse on your list and ask what you'd do if it weren't true. Then do the smallest version of that.
Archetype No. 7: The Pessimist
If the Pessimist is your archetype, your biggest fear is adversity or pain. Hardships feel more like stop signs than stepping-stones to something better, Soukup says.
What it feels like: "I always try new things, but old problems always get in the way and drag me down."
How to make it work for you: Everyone goes through hard stretches, and you get to choose how you respond the next time the deck feels stacked against you. Put your big heart to work for other people, because helping others can be good for you too. A 2025 study in Social Science & Medicine used long-running U.S. health data to estimate what volunteering does for mood, and found it modestly lowered the risk of depression, with bigger benefits for women.
The people studied were at or near retirement age, but the takeaway travels: showing up for others gives you somewhere to put the heaviness. You don't need a formal commitment to start. Making coffee for a coworker who's having a rough week counts.
And if the heaviness doesn't lift, that's a sign to talk to someone. Ask a trusted friend for a recommendation or search for a mental health provider near you through SAMHSA. If you're in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline any time.
Find Your Fear Archetype
Ready to put a name to yours? Take Soukup's free Fear Archetype assessment, then come back to the section that fits and pick one thing to try this week. Scared is fine. Do it anyway.
