How To Have A Killer Total Eclipse (Of The) Party

 
Space: You’re in it!

Space: You’re in it!

Here’s everything you need to know about the impending a̶r̶m̶a̶g̶e̶d̶d̶o̶n̶ biggest cosmic event in America, a.k.a. the total solar eclipse.

Need an excuse to party on a Monday? How does a once-every-30-odd-years celestial event sound? On August 21, a total solar eclipse is going to see the moon block the sun, sending select parts of the planet into darkness for three minutes. Yay! Party time.

NASA says the last time the US saw a contiguous total eclipse (traveling across the country, as a 70-mile wide strip, from end to end) was 1979. But who’ll be able to see it, and what kind of Game of Thrones-style magic will it unleash on this earthly plain? And what cocktails go best with total darkness? We have answers.

What

Well, it’s a total solar eclipse, as we’ve literally just told you. That means the moon will pass between the earth and the sun, blocking out our source of light temporarily (save for a cool ring pattern, #sevendays) and sending humans into a state of “oohs” and “aaahs.”

Where

Aside from traveling across the US sky, earthlings will be able to view the phenomenon, at least partially, in parts of South America, Africa and Europe. You can find out if the eclipse’s path will be visible in your state with this online visualization from NASA. It’s first stop is Lincoln Beach, Oregon at 9:05am PST, and it’ll take the next hour and a half to cross the continent. 

Not in the path of totality? Don’t worry. There’s this thing called the internet. As you can imagine, NASA is losing its shit, and has set up a bunch of amazing live-streaming options. Because they’re high-tech, they’ll let you view the eclipse on a 4K-resolution, 360-degree Facebook Live broadcast from a South Carolina facility. Sick! 

So, as amazing as it would be to witness the event IRL, all you really need is a WiFi connection and a wall projector. And snax. As astronomer Tyler Nordgren from the University of Redlands told The Atlantic, "This will be the most photographed, most shared, most tweeted event in human history.” Slooh will host a Spanish language live stream, and the official hashtag is #Eclipse2017 by the way. Watch it right here: 

How

How should you celebrate? So glad you asked. Well, if you we're smart enough to score yourself a ticket on the Royal Caribbean’s Total Eclipse Cruise, then you’ll be serenaded by Ms. “Total Eclipse of the Heart” herself, Bonnie Tyler. But if not, just play the iconic and weird video in the background of your viewing party. It goes for 5:32 minutes, so you you can sync it up with the moon, with time to spare. Follow it up with the literal version for a good LOL. 

And of course, you can get your camera nerd on, and start trying to capture the epic event for Instagram #content.

“But what of my precious eyes?!” you ask. Fair question. Staring at the sun is a definitive no-no, unless you want permanent eye damage. You’ll need special eclipse sunglasses if you’re planning to watch the action closely. Or else binoculars or a telescope, but ONLY with approved solar filters attached.

And even then, you should consult with an astronomer to be super certain you're using them right. The only time you're allowed to look straight at the sun is when it’s in full totality — covered entirely by the moon. But it’s not all about the sun. Other stars not normally visible will blink into view, as the moon covers the sun’s light. So remember to look around you

Need more ideas for toasting the awe-inspiring cosmos? Try these!

Listen to a playlist of songs about the moon. Cat Power and The Police come to mind.

Remember The Mighty Boosh? The moon’s storytelling was the best part. Get reacquainted.  

Make some moonshine? I think it’s illegal, so definitely don’t click this link. If you're feeling fancier than that, take inspiration from these planetary-themed cocktails on Sunday night, so you're nice and exhausted by the time the moon does its thing in the AM.

Project the actual eclipse onto a wall. Just use a makeshift pinhole camera (a small mirror covered with a piece of paper with a 1 to 2cm hole.)

Regardless of where you live, if you’re based in the US, you’ll get a view of at least a partial eclipse. Now, let’s all say a silent prayer that there are no clouds come Monday.

Want to know how to take non-crap #Eclipse2017 photos using your smartphone? Right this way.

Words: Jerico Mandybur
Photos: GIPHY