We Must Protect The Creator Of This Viral 'Summer Bucket List’ At All Costs

 The hero we need.

The hero we need.

Ever look back at your diary from when you were younger and think, “Holy shit, how was I inspirational, slightly shallow and unintentionally hilarious all at once?” 

Well, Twitter’s latest viral obsession is about to slap you in the proverbial face with an adorable nostalgia glove. On Saturday, a Twitter user known as @scorpiosars shared something wonderful. It was a sheet of paper entitled “Summer Bucket List 2017” that her friend found in an Urban Outfitters dressing room. And it’s a weird and wonderful time portal back to teenage-hood.

With an impressive amount of specificity and sass, the author of the bucket list describes how she wants to “buy seven bikinis” take “eight hoe pics for Instagram” and “give two blow jobs.” It’s like the “12 Days Of Christmas,” but for high schoolers. 

But it's also a practical list, including items like “decorate room,” “do summer reading,” and “fix home screen.” Our girl is nothing if not organized and determined. Personal favorites? So glad you asked. I enjoy “get a boob hickey,” “get a little tan,” “tie a message to a balloon and let it go,” and simply “have sex.” #goals

Displaying great penmanship as well as resolve to live her best life, the author uses three different colored pens (the list itself alternating cutely between blue and green), and has a check box next to each item. Some items already checked off include “Get drunk all the time” and “[hook up] with Jason (again).” Get it, girl!

Thank you, mystery teen. We can only hope to create bucket lists this good. Here’s to a summer of safe sex and boob hickeys for all. 

Words: Jerico Mandybur